Making Small Talk

A Conversation Guide for Teens, Tweens and Young Adults

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The teen years are awkward across the board. And while plenty of people struggle with socializing and making friends, this can be especially challenging for teens with autism. Below are some tips to help guide your teen in developing new and fulfilling friendships. 

Interacting with Others 

Teenagers have their own set of unwritten rules, which your teen or tween might find confusing when establishing friendships. To help them understand what is expected in different situations, you may have to tell them how to act and what’s okay and not okay to say to other people.  

One activity you can do together is a word game that helps your teen think through some scenarios they may encounter.

You can try saying phrases, like the ones below, and have your child fill in the blanks: 

  • Jerry has invited you to his 13th birthday party. When the cake comes out with all the candles on top, I’ll watch _______ blow them out and sing Happy Birthday if I feel up to it. Then I will enjoy a slice of _____ when handed to me. 
  • Your new friend Jasmine loves her doll collection but is sad because classmates are teasing her. You can tell her about your _______ collection so she feels ______. 

Building Social Skills 

Like the word game above, role-playing can help your teen with social situations. Together, you can act out scenarios such as ordering a meal at a restaurant, inviting a friend over or meeting a new person. 

You can also try using photos like flashcards to help your teen identify the emotion in a person’s face or body. One picture might show a person smiling and looking like they’re open to chatting. Another image could show someone frowning and turning away, indicating they’re not interested in talking.  

Having a Conversation 

It’s a good idea for your teen to start practicing short conversations and gradually build up to longer chats as it becomes more natural to them. You can provide them with tips on: 

  • Where to stand (in front of the person and not too close) 
  • How to start a conversation and continue a back-and-forth exchange, as well as appropriate topics to discuss 
  • How to handle disagreements and how to end conversations 

If these strategies don’t work or if you or your teenager is feeling frustrated, reach out to a behavioral health professional for specific techniques. They can help your teen learn strategies for everyday situations so they can feel more comfortable wherever they go.